My dearest friend:
Holiday greetings from Sombertown!!! It’s been a while. I hope you have been keeping busy. We have, because we know firsthand that idle hands are the devil’s playthings. I honestly don’t remember what lies I told in the last missive, so if I repeat or contradict myself, don’t be alarmed.
A VERY PERNICE TO ME CHRISTMAS
First, let us take this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Bitchin’ Festivus, or a great weekend. We’re a blended family. Tonight we’ll do the traditional Jewish Christmas Eve Chinatown dinner, and tomorrow we’ll torture and be tortured by our families. Monday will feature regret and despair, followed by a week of resolutions, maybe a little exercise, and then fragile hopefulness about the coming year. This hope will be squashed on Jan. 3. Joe created a special Christmas episode of Pernice to Me, which you can view here. It’s not safe for work unless you’re a longshoreman or for your kids unless they’re middle-aged. Or your parents, unless you’re an orphan. This episode stars Joe’s arm, Charlie Ashmont, and Edith Bunker as me, apparently. I hope you enjoy.
SCUD MOUNTAIN BOYS DATES
We have added a couple since last I wrote – Hoboken and Toronto. The complete list, with links for the purchase of tickets, is below. I know, I know, we’re not coming to your town (unless that’s New York, Boston, Northampton, Hoboken, Philadelphia, Washington DC or Toronto), and you are disappointed. But you’re a grown-up now, and it’s time I leveled with you. The reasons we’re not coming there are varied, but include: 1) the bad cup of coffee we had there in 1994 2) something you said 3) a woman one band member doesn’t want to see 4) it’s not within close driving distance of Massachusetts 5) no one wants to pay us a wheelbarrow full of dough to do it.
As you know if you’ve been here a while, we’re a very, very part-time operation, and even that part-time is half-assed when it comes to the business side. We’re old and tired and cranky (though cranky has always been the baseline, even in our youth), and wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave us for someone newer and shinier. But we hope you won’t. We’re not ready for the glue factory quite yet, no matter what your children, nieces or nephews tell you as they try to get you to listen to the new Bon Iver. I don’t know if there will be more dates than this. Have you ever flirted with the idea of getting back together with an ex? You meet up and everything is great and comfortable and exciting? And you feel all tingly? But then slowly, the reasons you broke up in the first place start to emerge. And then you remember. And then you retreat. Well, so far everyone is excited and tingly. We think it will stay that way, but one never knows, does one?
Friday, Jan. 13, 2012
Bowery Ballroom, New York, NY
Saturday Jan. 14, 2012
Brighton Music Hall, Boston, MA
Sunday, Jan. 15, 2012
Pearl Street Clubroom, Northampton, MA
Friday, Feb. 17, 2012
Maxwell’s, Hoboken, NJ
Saturday, Feb. 18, 2012
Johnny Brenda’s, Philadelphia, PA
Sunday, Feb. 19, 2012
The Black Cat, Washington, DC
Our friend John Cunningham opens all U.S. shows. You may recall that Ashmont Records and Tapes, Inc. reissued his two amazing albums on one disc last year (but only on compact disc). If you missed it, feel free to buy one from us here. I look forward to seeing him because I’m a big fan, but also because odds are he’ll be the only gentleman in the van. (Frank Padellaro and Ray Mason will also open, in Boston and Northampton respectively.)
THE EARLY YEAR REISSUE
The Early Year, the double album that combines the Scuds’ first two records, has been reissued on Ashmont Records and Tapes, Inc. (but only on compact disc). It is exactly the same record you probably already have, though it has different artwork. We’ll be selling them on the road, but you can also order them here.
NEW PERNICE RECORD
Yup, it’s coming. That’s all I got.
P.S. My Christmas Card To You, a Spotify Playlist (no Pernice songs though, because Joe is the Burger Meister Meister Burger).