My dearest friend:
It had to happen.
As you may know, since many of you got it free when you pre-ordered the most recent record, we recently published a book, called Pernice To Me, which reproduced, with meticulous accuracy, some of the outrageous things Joe Pernice says to me in the course of my day’s hard work. Despite Joe’s best efforts at distancing himself from the material, his position as one of indie rock’s great curmudgeons has been cemented. And he is pissed. Since revenge is a dish best served as a low-budget video, Joe commissioned puppets of himself and me, and has launched the latest media venture in the Ashmont empire. Ashmont TV presents the first episode of Pernice To Me here. (Rated not for anyone easily offended. Produced and directed by Joe Pernice. Adapted from the book written by me and Joe Pernice. Puppets by Bobby Smithney. Voices by Joe Pernice. That’s right. The girly voice you will hear in the second episode is NOT mine, though it is an amazing likeness.) We plan to unleash one episode a week, until he runs out of material, which is to say, until he runs out of my record of outrageous things he says. In other words, until he dies, or stops talking to me. I’m not taking any bets on the timing of either of those things. Also, the Menck, James, Other Pernice and Charlie Ashmont puppets are on order, so expect them to join the cast soon. I suppose we COULD send the puppet band on tour, if Joe can manage a filming hiatus. He thinks television is his medium. I still think it’s vaudeville.
If you actually have a life, and you’re not hanging out with us in all the social media spaces, you may have missed Joe’s guest editing stint at Magnet last week. You can see that here.
Beyond that, I don’t have anything for you. I will say that I loved the responses to my last email about misheard lyrics. Many of you shared some of your deepest darkest secrets in the form of misheard lyrics, and I worry for your souls. But I was entertained, and that’s the important thing. I also appreciated the responses to my email about the band’s lack of touring plans – especially the ones that read, “I know you’re saying that there are no touring plans, but you should really come to Mayberry, and when you do, my band should open.” You remind me of my dear departed mother, who neither listened nor heard. Nevertheless, without her support, we wouldn’t be doing this. Get it?
Hope it’s cooler where you are than it is where I am.