News / Blog

July 12, 2009

Employee Review

A bit of news that will be of interest to two of the 6000 of you. The date of the Toronto show has moved. It is now Thursday, Sept. 24, and it’s still at the Dakota ( We had to change the date because there’s a really great rerun of House on the night originally scheduled.

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention – first, was it something I said? And second, you can now pre-order the new CD, due out August 4, and receive a special gift for your trouble. All of the gory details are here:

To those who have already ordered, thank you, thank you, thank you. We are eternally grateful. To those of you who wrote little comments to me in the field provided in the order form, just to see if anyone was reading, I do read them, so either thank you, or the opposite of thank you. You know who you are. And I know where you live.

To the one guy who wrote and asked me if my emails to the list could be shorter, because he doesn’t have time to read so much, the answer is no. They can’t. I can’t. It’s not that I’m being a jerk, though I can certainly be that. But I just can’t. I’ve actually been twittering a lot lately, because I have SO much interesting stuff to tell no one, and was thinking that the exercise in précis writing would help with my (perceived) long-windedness. But, alas, it just results in my writing a long series of strung-together 140-character bits of brilliance, which, when read in sequence, provide illuminating, insightful commentary. Plus, if there’s anything I’ve learned in my very long time on this planet, it’s that NOTHING is easy. All that you desire requires sacrifice, and it’s my job to provide the means for sacrifice in this case. But thanks for checking in.

If you tried to reach us in the Ashmont offices Friday, I apologize. We were closed for our annual employee review. As I know you like to learn about the machinations of the music business, I am reprinting the transcripts below.

Employees present: Joyce Linehan, Joe Pernice
Location: Ashmont HQ, Dorchester, MA

Joyce: I don’t know, the last record seemed a little off. Is everything OK? Are you happy here? Also, can you write a hit next time?

Joe: When do we retire?

Joyce: The last time you had the band over to the house to record, they all left the toilet seat up.

Joe: Can the company buy me an aeron chair? You should sell that gold record in the bathroom and buy me an aeron chair.

Joyce: No.

Joe: I know you work alone, with absolutely no human contact, but we’re getting a little bit concerned about your ability to work well with others.

Joyce: What time is it? Want to go get lunch?

Joe: Can we use the credit card?

Joyce: Yeah, just let me change out of my pajamas and we can go.

Note: No one was let go, but three warnings were issued and a pay freeze was instituted. Also the foosball table was removed from the dining room. And casual Fridays were reinstated.


Pre-order Joe’s book, out August 6

Become a fan of Joe Pernice on Facebook:

Tour dates: Tickets are selling well in most cities, so I recommend you buy in advance if you can. Tickets on sale for all shows except Iota, which doesn’t sell advance tickets, and Toronto, which should be on sale soon. Also, fair warning- I will personally BE at the shows in Boston, Philadelphia and Arlington, VA, in case that makes you want to stay away.

Also, I must thank those of you who wrote such kind notes during the “reply all” kerfuffle on the list last week. I’m buying drinks at the Eire pub tonight, if you want to come by. I’m just a simple girl with a dream, and technology sometimes betrays me.


Dorchester, Mass.

Joyce @ 1:52 pm