News / Blog

March 19, 2008

Idleness is a fool’s desire.

I know we’ve been quiet. You know how I know? Because we’ve been so quiet that even the “why are you guys so quiet?” emails have stopped. I suppose I could take that as a sign that all of you have moved on to the next “best band you’ve never heard of, ” which would be okay – we certainly didn’t ask for or expect product exclusivity. But since at some point, Ashmont Industries will release some kind of pop culture artifact – format, artist name, medium, etc. to be determined – I figured I should write. Plus I miss (most of) you. As you’ve heard from both Joe and me before, there has some kind of clandestine recording going on in fits and starts at our state of the art (for 1996) recording studio in an undisclosed location that my neighbors are nice enough not to complain about. At this point, things have been quiet up there, because we’re waiting for our economic stimulus refund checks to arrive before we can afford to turn on the electricity again. We may not need record labels, but we do need electricity to manufacture the rock. What I can tell you with unequivocal certainty and unwavering faith, is the sometime in the future, something will happen. Also, just to get in front of the story, I want to make it perfectly clear that outside of Joe’s and my time as a signed artist and an A&R rep respectively, we have never been with or been a prostitute, respectively.

In the meantime, Joe is still holed up in the NorthMidwest Territories somewhere, working on the great Canadian novel. He’ll be making the trek down south to the resort town (in 1649) of Dorchester, Massachusetts to do what will probably by the first public reading of the new material. On May 29, he will appear with the most gifted writers whose personal emails we have, at a benefit for a local halfway house for alcoholics and drug addicts. Michael Patrick MacDonald, George Pelecanos and Tom Perotta will also appear, and it will be hosted by our pal Neal Huff, whose recent turn as Michael Steintorf on The Wire has made it difficult for me to believe his self-serving lies ever again. But I think he’s telling me the truth when he says he’ll be there, despite the fact that there’s no quid pro quo. Anyway, if you have any interest in attending, follow the link below. Tickets are a little steep – $50 – but it’s for a very good cause.

Also, we’re reprinting the Charlie Ashmont shirt, which is the best-selling t-shirt in the history of our company, having just surpassed “I Hate My Life.” Please don’t tell Joe that the dog is more popular than he is. Don’t tell the dog either, because frankly, he has become impossible, and his contract is almost up. I don’t want to get into a protracted negotiation about use of his likeness. Anyway, there were many of you who asked to be notified when it’s back in stock, and now’s your chance if you wanted a particular color. Check out the American Apparel web site for shirts in THESE STYLES ONLY: men’s 2001 and women’s 4305. Please note that this design (which can be seen in the store at only looks good on a light colored shirt. If you are interested in a particular color, let me know. I want to place the order next week, but I won’t be looking for payment until the shirts are actually in. Or ever really. It’s not like I have any recourse except for NOT sending you a shirt. I haven’t heard from any of the guys in the Pernice Brothers touring and/or recording bands, except for Bob, who hates me because I no longer have the juice in Boston to procure tickets to sold-out shows at the Middle East, and thus, he probably missed Jonathan Richman. There is nothing sadder than the formerly powerful, not matter how tiny their former fiefdom actually was. Anyway, if you see any of the other guys, tell them I said hello. As for me, I am recovering from St. Patrick’s Day, having heard one too may bad jokes at the South Boston St. Patrick’s Day breakfast. I keep meaning to ask Joe if they celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in Toronto, but I honestly think it was that very holiday that chased him out of Boston in the first place.

Anyway that’s it for my not-very-informational non-update. Just didn’t want you thinking we were idle.

Dorchester, Mass.

Joyce @ 5:57 pm