News / Blog

December 8, 2007

i haven't any dreams left to dream

Hello everyone. Just a reminder that the extra special sale on all of the merchandise in the Pernice Brothers store ends on Monday Dec. 10, 2007 (provided I can tear myself away from all the holiday revelry around here to actually raise the prices on Monday). The original cutoff day was Saturday, but I think I can handle the post office on Dec. 11 without killing anyone. But that’s really going to be it.

After my last email to the esteemed list, there were some very clever replies. (If you have no idea what I’m on about and you’re curious, go to My two favorites were 1) “Love the emails, hate the band. Unsubscribe” and 2) “Love the band, can’t stand the emails. Unsubscribe.” A couple of people, including Joe’s mother, were concerned that he and I had a falling out. Let me be very clear. Joe and I have never been friends. There’s nothing to fall out of. We’re business associates, plain and simple. He produces a commodity, and I get that commodity to the marketplace (that’s you). We don’t exchange Christmas gifts and we are not involved in each other’s personal lives. Any time we share a meal, it’s tax-deductible to the full extent allowed by law.

As I’ve written before, Joe is working on the great Canadian landed immigrant novel. Joe’s people did call last week though to let me know that he was planning to be at Ashmont HQ at the end of the month, conveniently at the same time when I will be holed up at a downtown hotel trying to make sure First Night Boston, one of my dozens of day jobs, gets some media coverage. His people are telling me he’ll be here to audit the Ashmont books (and by books I mean the piles of receipts under Charlie Ashmont’s mattress), but I think he’s secretly planning to do some recording. When I get my December electric bill, I’ll let you know.

And Joe’s not the only one around here writing a book. Bob Pernice and I have been working on a book since 1985. It’s called “The Commodification of Outsiders: An Exploration of the Misogynistic Subtext of Rankin and Bass.” It’s all about how the thing that was wrong with Dolly was actually that there was nothing wrong with her. Which of course, on the Island of Misfit Toys, made her the only authentic misfit, or the ultimate outsider. We have some great marketing ideas for the book as well. In answer to a recent spate of gun violence here in our own neighborhood, we’ll launch an initiative asking people who have guns to load them up with jelly. Anyone with jelly in the chamber gets a free book. We’ll also put some rouge and a funny hat on Charlie Ashmont, the American Money Pit Bull Terrier and put him in a wind-up box. He’ll LOVE that.

Speaking of holiday revelry, my friend Tom and I will of course be hosting our annual Orphans and Jews Christmas Eve in Chinatown holiday spectacular, which is really only spectacular in that we stuff our faces with Chinese food in a restaurant that looks like the set of a Sean Connery James Bond movie. You don’t actually have to be an orphan or a Jew to come, but you do have to dress like one or the other. Feel free to join us. Or not. I’m not sure what Joe is doing. I think I read somewhere that Christmas is on a different day in Canada.

Happy holidays!
JL & CA, Sombertown USA

Charlie in a box

Joyce @ 8:46 am