News / Blog

October 3, 2006

"You have always been the caretaker."

It’s a sunny day up here in Toronto. Haven’t seen too much of it as I’ve been doing some press interviews over the phone. They’ve actually been okay, which isn’t always the case. Sometimes the questions can be a bit grim. When the interviewer says, “I don’t really know your music, so could you decsribe it for our readers…” that’s when you know you’re in for a long one. I stopped answering that question years ago. Thank god for cell phones (even though I don’t have one up here.) I blame a crummy connection on a “bad cell” before hanging up. (For those of you who wear glasses: If you’re walking down the street and you see someone you don’t want to talk to coming your way, take off your glasses, squint like mad, look pissed-off, and pretend to be trying to remove a stubborn smudge from a lens. Mumble a few super-offensive imperatives at the smudge for good measure. Look like you just locked yourself out of a running car. That should keep any pain-in-the-ass passerby clear of you because you’ve scared them.) There you have it. I am a liar. Anyway, these interviews were actually pretty good.

The record is out today in the USA. Came out in the UK and Europe yesterday. It’s been a little while since a record of ours/mine has “dropped” (as they say in the biz) worldwide simultaneously. I guess that’s supposed to be a big deal. What’s the significance? I have no idea.

And for those of you who have asked/suggested, my answer is this: There shall be no release party. I find that kind of thing creepy, for me at least. I also don’t like receiving gifts at holidays/birthdays. I say to family and friends, “Get me something in June when you’re not obliged. Now there’s a gift with intent. And make sure it’s something I want. What’s the point otherwise? And no, I can’t help being an incorrigible little shit.”

There shall be no release party. The only way I would ever consider it is if I subcontracted the priceless Pernice Brothers brand out to other bands in different cities. Each band could do the gig in their respective town. Hold on. Why limit this to a release party? I’m a much larger thinker than that. Introducing the 2006 Pernice Brothers Franchise World Tour. One night only. Everywhere. As for me, I’ll be on my sofa watching Antiques Roadshow come set time. I’m getting quite good at assessing the real dollar value of Limoges, Navajo blankets and all sorts of shit from the Ming Dynasty. My new heroes are Lark E. Mason and Suzanne Perrault. The latter is, by far, the most beautiful appraiser to have ever appraised. The former, the most sensitive. On that episode where Lark wept upon seeing a Chinese marble gargoyle statue, I swear, it was compelling television. My wife and I held eachother and wept for Lark, for the intensity of his passions (and for all passions) and his most considered acquiescence to them. It is also because of you, Lark (and the most mint Ms. Perrault) that I now repeat with great zeal and fervor: There shall be no release party.

Please, release me, please.

Joe @ 1:56 pm